Duke Nukem Forever and Ever...

(J.P. Dozier)

 Duke Nukem Forever. A game that was 12 years in the making. Well actually it didn't take 12 years to make but just that long to finally release it. So far all the reviews I have read, makes this game seem like it was a waste of time and money to be released. Everyone that I have talked to (except one guy who never played the series before) loves the game. IGN gave the game a 5.5/10, considering it to be mediocre.  How dare they I say.  This game is anything but. I feel that most of the people putting the game down either: 

  A. Never played the game before.

  B. Because the game took sooooo long to release, fan boys expected something so majestic and got a regular Duke Nukem game (Not saying anything bad about that).  Well, here is my honest review about the game.

  First off, lets start off why it took so long for the game to be released. Plain and simple, 12 years ago when the game was supposed to be released, the owner of 3D Realms wanted the game to be the best it could be. Since technology kept advancing so quickly, delays were made so this game could be up-to-date. Years passing and gamers pretty much giving up on the series, this game went from reality to fantasy. The game that fan boys would talk to their friends about and just fantasize what it would be like. Well, then came 3D Realms going bankrupt and almost having Duke go from a possibility to almost non-existent.  Thanks to 2K Games and Gearbox, they saved the day and made this dream, a reality. 

  Well, now it is here and I am glad to say, "About time".  Thankfully, they were able to keep Jon St. John as the voice actor for Duke Nukem (he did the voices for all the other Duke Nukem games).  Honestly, if they did not get him, I would agree with the bad score ratings. This guy is perfect for the role, his voice is deep but not too deep, and just fits that, "I'm a cocky douche" tone. 

Graphics and Game Play

When you compare the graphics and villains to the older Duke Nukem games, they are nothing compared to Forever.  For those of you that played the old Nukem games, you remember our favorite bad guys, "Pig Cop". These guys looked as if they were the early creation of South Park's ManBearPig. 

Half bear, half pig, half man or is it half pig, half man, half bear?

  Playing these guys were always a pain but they were great when you were running low on ammo.  These guys definitely got an upgrade when looking back.

Here piggy piggy...

BAD PIGGY... BAD. 

They are still annoying to mess with but not as annoying as the Octobrains. They are as annoying now as they were then. Even worse, unlike the older games, these guys can catch rockets and pipe bombs. Not a great situation when you are out of ammo with your Ripper or Shotgun and all you have left is your rockets. 

I hate you with a passion....

  But there is a lot more to the game than just going around killing thousands of alien scum.  During the game, you get to drive around in a Huge Monster Truck called "Mighty Foot". Off road will never be the same when you get to drive around this big mama-jama and crushing everything in your path.

Here piggy piggy... SOOOOWEEEEEEEEE

 But don't worry Duke fans, they did bring back the shrink mode and there is a nice RC car that you drive around a casino in.

Might want to think twice if you want to run this guy over.

Running around as a mini Duke is always a challenge, especially when you have to battle normal size aliens. Don't worry though, they are not impossible to beat. Just make sure that you have plenty of explosives and ammo. You will be good.

For all you artistic people out there, here is your chance to show your skill. During the game, there will be a couple chances to draw on dry erase boards or even sign your John Hancock for a young fan.

Insert dirty images here.

That is the best battle strategy the government has? Might wanna draw your own.

Not an artist but still wanna play some mini games? There are a few parts of the game where you will be able to play Duke's Pinball "Balls of Steel", challenge some guy at Air Hockey, the Duke version of Wak-a-Alien, and even goof off messing around with a pool table. There are some achievements for some of these games, so look them up and good luck getting them. The hardest one for me was the pinball one, Score 1 million. Not fun when trying for the achievement but fun to mess around.

Lose yourself to the pinball.... 

  When it comes to playing Multiplayer, you have a couple options of game modes.  You have Duke Match, Team Dukematch, Capture the Babe (Capture the flag), and what I like to call the Roids Match. This match is nothing but melee, but on steroids. The levels in multiplayer are some of the levels in the game and even some classic ones. They brought back the NYC streets level but it is designed as if it was a paintball course, still awesome though.  By completing challenges in the multiplayer matches, you are able to unlock items for Duke and be able to customize him and make him your own (You have to go to the Changing Room in the multiplayer menu). To be completely honest about the multiplayer, it seems like you would only have an awesome time if you are playing with friends or goofing around and if you can find out where the Devastator spawns at, you will pretty much have an advantage in the game. All in all, there really isn't anything fancy about it, but if you just wanna goof off and kill people, you will have a good time with it. 

Location: Duke Burger. As you can see, they only use top quality breeds in their meat.

  When it comes to graphics, this is just a really nice, cleaner Duke Nukem game. The only downside to it is when it loads, sometimes it loads the game faster then it does the graphics. So you will see everything loaded but it does not look all that great for a few seconds. (Pretty much like the older Duke Nukem games).  Another down side to the game is the load time. When it loads from chapter to chapter or you get killed, the load time take about 2 mins. Throughout the game, you might be spending around 30 mins to an hour in load time ALONE!  That is a major turn down in my book.

FINAL SCORE: 4/5

  Any true fanboy to Duke Nukem franchise will love this game.  If you play those mini games as much as I did, there will be over 9 hours of game play, other than that, about 8 hours. For the parents out there, this game has:

           Nudity, Strong Language, Drug use (Steroids), Alcohol use, and extreme violence.

  If you are a parent and you get your child (under 18) this game, I personally would deem you a bad parent. So kids, do what we had to do when we were younger, have an older sibling get it or go to a friends house to play. Ha ha. 

  The only downsides to the games were the wait time in the load screen and how the graphics take a bit to completely load.  From what I have heard, some people were disappointed that you can only carry two weapons in this game but, to be honest, I didn't think of that as an issue. They did take out the Expander weapon but still kept the shrink ray gun, so have fun with that and stomping the enemies. The story line was a lot of fun and thankfully, it didn't end in under 4 hours.  This game is as dirty as it ever has been and kept everything to the true nature of Duke. Any fan should enjoy this game. I know that I have.